FREE MIXING IN ISLAM

FREE MIXING IN ISLAM

What is permissible and what is not ?

What is considered free mixing ?

- Men and women are permitted to be in the same place. (i.e. shops, streets etc)

- Men and women should avoid situations where they are crowded together or seated together.

- Repetitive acquaintance should be avoided to prevent familiarity.

- Business like discussion between man and woman is permissible when necessary.

Why is it like this ?

- Prevention of intimate relationships developing outside of marriage.

- Prevention of gossip and slander that can destroy relationships and families.

- Prevention of one party "falling in love" and being hurt.

- Prevention of children being born outside of marriage.

- Prevention of families being broken up.

The Evidence

Allah (The One & Only God) says: "Nor come nigh to adultery".

Allah (The One God) says: "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them." and says: "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty." [Noble Quran 24:30-31]

Allah (The One God) says: "And when you ask the ladies for anything, ask them from behind a screen. That makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs." [Noble Quran 33:53]

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) forbade men and women from being alone together. He said: "Never is a man alone with a woman except that Satan (Devil) is the third party with them."

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: "Do not enter into the company of women."

A man then asked him: "What about her male in-laws?"

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: "The in-law is the most dangerous".

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: "It is better for one of you to be pierced by a steel pin in his head than to touch the hand of a strange woman."

Allah (The One & Only God) says: "Be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak with a speech (that is) proper." [Noble Quran 33:32].

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Any woman who puts on perfume then goes and passes by some men to let them find her scent is a type of adulteress." [Musnad Ahmad, Tirmidhi]

Umm Salamah said: "When the Prophet (peace be upon him) completed the prayer, the women would get up to leave. He would then wait awhile before standing." Ibn Shahab said: "I believe that he waited for a while to give the women an opportunity to depart before the men." [Sahih al-Bukhari]

It was related in al-Bukhari that women at the time of the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) did not circumambulate the Kabah along with the men. Aishah used to go around the Kabah at a good distance from the men and avoided mixing with them. Once another woman bade to her to go forward with her so they could touch the corner of the Kabah. Aishah refused to do so. [Sahih al-Bukhari]

One of Ayshahs handmaidens came to her and said: "O Mother of believers, I went around the Kabah seven times and touched the corner twice or trice". Ayshah replied: "May Allah not reward you for pushing your way through men. It would have been sufficient for you to you to say "Allah Akbar" as you passed by". [Musnad al-Shafii]

Punishment for Zina

In this life

Fornication is 100 lashes
"The male and female who commit fornication -flog each of them with one hundred lashes, and let not compassion for the two of them keep you from complying with Allahs religion, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a group of believers witness their punishment." [Noble Quran 24:2]

Adultery is death

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "It is not permitted to shed the blood of any Muslim .... Except in three cases: a soul for a soul, the married person who commits adultery, and the one who forsakes his religion..." [Bukhari and Muslim]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When someone commits Zina or drinks wine, Allah (The One God) removes his faith from him, just as a person takes his shirt off over his head"

In the Hereafter

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will not speak to nor look at nor purify three types of people: an old man who commits Zina, a lying king and a vainglorious poor person...."

The Holy Prophet said: "We went on and arrived near a pit which was like and oven, out of which we could hear cries. We glanced into it and naked men and women, who cried out when the flames reached them from below. I asked: Who are these, O Gabriel? He replied, Males and females who have committed fornication. " [Bukhari]

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If someone commits Zina with a married women, in the grave there will be a punishment on him and on her equal to half the punishment of this Ummah...."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The man who has laid his hand with lust on a woman who is not permissible to him will come on the Day of Judgment with his hand tied to his neck.

If he kissed her, his lips will be cut in the Fire, and if he had sexual intercourse with her, his private parts will speak against him in the Day of Judgment saying: I did what was forbidden.

Allah (The One & Only God) Most High will look at him with anger, and the flesh on his face will sag and he will look haggard and old. He will say: What did I do? His tongue will witness against him saying, I said what was forbidden; his hands will speak and say, We reached for what was forbidden; each of his feet will say. I went to a forbidden place.; and his private parts will say, I did it.

An one of the guardian angels will say, I heard it. and the other guardian angel will say, I wrote it, and Allah Most High will say, I knew it but I concealed it. Then He will say My angels, take him and give him a taste of My punishment. Great is My anger against the man who had so little shame towards Me!"

Khadejah Jones
ShareIslam.com 

The Four Factors: Check yourself for signs of hypocrisy

The Four Factors: Check yourself for signs of hypocrisy

Just as our body gives us signals when we tax it too much physically or mentally, with migraine headaches, aching bones, low immunity to seasonal viruses, and muscular strains symbolizing the need for us to slow down, relax and give ourselves some stress-free time to unwind. 

So too, our actions and dealings with people give us some tell-tale signs about the state of our spiritual well-being and health.
A healthy soul is serene when it is at the peak of faith. Imagine how it felt after spending a part of the night of "Al-Qadr" in prayer during Ramadan, or after consciously forgiving someone who had wronged you, or after sincerely repenting of and giving up a sin. 

Such moments became turning points in your life that made you feel as if you were freed from shackles when you rushed back to Allah (The One & Only God). During such times, the heart is spiritually charged, healthy, and resonating with faith. On the flip side are some warning signs in our actions that we should watch out for, because they indicate that we are gravitating towards the worst disease of the heart: Nifaq or hypocrisy. Just as a bodily disease requires immediate prescription of an appropriate remedy for timely cure, a disease of the heart also necessitates immediate diagnosis of symptoms and prescription of a remedy.

Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "There are four (characteristics), whoever has all of them is a complete hypocrite, and whoever has some of them, has some element of hypocrisy, unless he gives it up: When he speaks, he lies; when he makes a covenant, he betrays it; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; when he quarrels, he resorts to insults." (Sahih Muslim, no. 53)

The Munafiq or hypocrite is someone who possesses all of the above traits. He makes an outward show of piety, but is inwardly different from his deliberately put-on, outer facade. There are varying degrees of Nifaq, but the important thing to remember is that it is the opposite of Ikhlas - sincerity of intention towards Allah (The One God) and His Deen, Islam. If anyone wants to know how sincere his heart is towards Allah (The One God), he should analyze his behavior and actions honestly and if he detects any of these four traits:

Lying 
Lying is a major sin that the companions of the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) would stay far away from. We, however, lie regularly to save face before people. If we cannot visit someone just because we do not feel like going, we lie that we have to go somewhere else. We fear people and value their opinion about us more than we fear 
Allah, His wrath, and our standing before Him. We are weak in faith and hence, we lie. Remember that each time you lie, you move further down the levels of faith, further away from Allah (The One God) and righteousness, until you repent. 

Betraying trusts 
The agreements and contracts we sign with organizations, institutions, authorities or countries are covenants or trusts. We must obey the laws and rules of these contracts and not intentionally defy them. Anything belonging to someone else is also a trust that we must take care of.

If you find yourself betraying other people's trusts, such as secretly disobeying office or school rules, deceiving your spouse (with whom you have the Nikah contract), borrowing and misusing other's belongings, or forging marriage documents for immigration to another country, you should remind yourself that treachery or treason is the trait of a hypocrite. 

Breaking promises 
The tongue of a believer is cautious and on guard. A kind of carelessness of the tongue is to say to others that you will do something, only to make them pleased with you, and then not actually do it. For example, a husband might say to his wife, "I will buy you shoes next month," or a woman might say to her friend, "I will not tell anyone your secret" - and then not keep up the word. Breaking promises leaves the other person feeling disappointed and betrayed.

A believer never makes a promise he does not intend to fulfill, and always fulfills a promise once he makes it. Making a promise and then breaking it, is a sign of hypocrisy. A sincere believer always takes his word seriously; once he says he will do something, he considers it a binding oath that remains on his mind until he duly discharges it.

Insulting another person during a dispute 
Disputes, disagreements and quarrels are bound to crop up in human relationships, especially with people to whom we are close. One only fights with those whom he meets regularly, or has some business with, or is biologically related to. Consequently, fights erupt most often between siblings, spouses, neighbors, parents and children, employers and subordinates, colleagues, buyers and sellers, and close friends.

How do you behave when you get angry during a quarrel? Do you start shouting, screaming, hurling profanities and dishing out insults? Do you abuse the other person verbally or physically? If you do, you should try to control and rectify this behavior. A sincere believer leaves the scene of the quarrel or maintains his composed demeanor even when furious.

As Muslims, we must constantly check ourselves to see whether our hearts have Nifaq or not. Ponder this wise saying of Hasan Al-Basri: "It is only a believer who fears hypocrisy (for himself), and it is only a hypocrite who feels safe from it." (Al-Bukhari, Kitab-ul-Iman, ch. 36). The most effective means of ridding one's heart of the disease of Nifaq is to adhere to the Holy Qur'an by studying it, memorizing it, and acting upon it; fulfilling all the obligations of Islam, abstaining from its prohibitions, and constantly engaging in remembrance of Allah (The One & Only God)

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May Almighty ALLAH  (The One & Only God) guide all of us to the Right Path and give all of us the courage to accept the Truth in the light of Holy Qur'an and Sunnah and to reject all things which are in contradiction to the Holy Qur'an and Sunnah, Aameen.