The IDEAL MUSLIM: The Muslim and His Neighbors

The IDEAL MUSLIM
The True Islamic Personality of the Muslim Man
as Defined in the Qur'an and Sunnah

By  Dr. Muhammad 'Ali Al-Hashimi  

Translated by Nasiruddin Al-Khattab and Revised by Ibrahim M. Kunna and Abu Aya Sulaiman Abdus-Sabur  

Copyright and published by the International Islâmic Publishing House (IIPH), Riyadh, Saudi Arabia in 1999.

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The Ideal Muslim  is a man of the highest moral character. In his relationship with his Rabb (God), himself, family, parents, relatives, friends and the community at large, he has a most excellent example in the prophet of Islam (pbuh). His idealism is further strengthened by the characters of the first generations of Muslims who excelled in all the various fields of human endeavor. He is reassured by the teachings of Islam that he also can reach these noble heights by working to improve his character daily.

Chapter 7: The Muslim and His Neighbors 

The true Muslim is careful to avoid falling into sin where his neighbor is concerned

The true Muslim is especially careful to avoid committing sins against his neighbor, because a sin against a neighbor is worse than other crimes, according to the words of the Holy Prophet. He quizzed his Companions about adultery and they said, "It is haram (forbidden); Allah (The One & Only God) and His Messenger have prohibited it." He told them, "A man who commits adultery with ten women has committed a lesser sin than one who commits adultery with his neighbor's wife." Then he quizzed them about stealing, and they said, "It" is haram (forbidden); Allah (The One God) and His Messenger have prohibited it." He told them, "A man who steals from ten households has committed a lesser sin than the one who steals from his neighbor's house." [11]

The neighbor in Islam enjoys a unique sanctity which is unknown in other manmade laws and systems. Those manmade laws encourage the violation of a neighbor's honor because it is usually easier and there are more opportunities to do so than to violate the honor of others. These promiscuous songs about looking through the neighbor's window and such like did not become widespread in the Muslim world until we had forgotten the manners of chivalry and faith, and been overwhelmed by blind imitation and cultural and intellectual imperialism. Then cheap, dirty young men among us began to compose songs and poems about the female neighbor, when such a thing had never been known during our jahiliyyah (ignorance), let alone after the advent of Islam. One of our noble and decent poets, if he happened to see a female neighbor, would say:

"I lower my gaze when my female neighbor appears before me, until she disappears into her own home." [12]

Islam has encouraged this noble human attitude and behavior in the many texts concerning the good treatment of one's neighbor, protecting his honor, concealing his faults, helping him when he is in need, lowering one's gaze from his womenfolk, and keeping away from everything that may harm him or make him suspicious. It is no surprise, then, that the true Muslim is the best neighbor that any human society has ever known.

The Muslim who is truly sensitive and aware of the teachings of his religion concerning the good treatment of neighbors, will be very cautious indeed concerning any dispute that may arise between himself and his neighbor for any reason, because of the warning of the Holy Prophet against arguing with neighbors:

The Muslim who is truly sensitive and aware of the teachings of his religion concerning the good treatment of neighbors, will be very cautious indeed concerning any dispute that may arise between himself and his neighbor for any reason, because of the warning of the Holy Prophet against arguing with neighbors:

"The first two antagonists on the Day of Judgement will be two neighbors."[13]

[11] Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad. Its men are thiqat.   

[12] 'Antarah, in his Diwan with footnotes by al-Mawlaw, p. 308. 

[13] Reported by Ahmad and al-Tabarani, with a hasan isnad.    

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Dont Disregard This Beautiful Sunnah
By Asma bint Shameem

 

I remember when I was a kid, we would go up to the roof of our house on the 29th of Shabaan / Ramadan and try to look for the new moon of Ramadan/ Shawaal..  It brings backs fond memories to the mind and I cant help but smile at the happiness and excitement that I felt as a kid trying to sight the new moon, perching on tiptoes, competing with my brother to spot it before he could! 

I also remember the joy, simply at the anticipation of

Ramadhan-..Will we begin the fasting tomorrow ???

Or will it be the day after ???

Whether Eid will be next day or the day after.
And when we did actually see it, the delight-indescribable, the giggles-uncontrollable!

Sighting the moon was such a sweet joyful experience and it was part of the whole spirit of Ramadhaan. It only added to the whole beauty and sanctity of the blessed month, and to our Ibadah and submission to Allah (The One & Only God).

And now, many years later, as another Ramadan approaches us, I look forward to another chance to look for the moon, this time with my kids, teaching them the importance of this Sunnah, sharing with them their innocent joy and excitement-their delight at seeing the bright crescent that brings glad tidings of a blessed month full of mercy and barakah.

And why shouldnt it be so???
After all, to search for the new moon is an ACT OF IBAADAH and a means of EARNING REWARD from Allah (The One God).

And it is the SUNNAH of our beloved Holy Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam)
The Sunnah is seeing and not mere knowledge of moons existence above the horizon.

The month of Ramadan does not begin with the birth of the moon. It does not even begin when it becomes possible to sight the moon. The month of Ramadan, according to the Messenger of Allah (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam), begins with the SIGHTING of the moon. This means a human EYE has to see the crescent of Ramadan. And no one should dare to think that the Holy Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) did not realize that the new crescent of Ramadan could be behind the clouds.

There are many, many Ahadith encouraging us to look( with our eyes) for the new moon.
The Holy Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) said: "Do not fast until you see the new moon, and do not stop fasting until you see it, and if it is concealed by clouds them count out (the thirty days of Shabaan ) for it." (Bukhaari, Muslim).

Aishah (radiy Allahu anha) said, "The Messenger of Allah (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) used to treat Shaaban as he treats no other month. He would then fast for sighting (the moon) of Ramadan. Whenever he could not sight it, he would count thirty days (for Shaaban) and then start the fast."[Abu Dawood].

Sighting the new moon of Ramadan  is a Fardh Kifaayah

It is obligatory to witness the new moon for establishing certain acts of worship. If these acts are obligatory, such as fasting Ramadan and Hajj, then witnessing the new moon also becomes obligatory on at least a part of the Muslim Ummah (Fardh Kifaayah). That is because, "what is necessary to fulfill the requirements of an obligation is an obligation itself."

The Sunnah Dua upon seeing the new moon

The Holy Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) even taught us the dua to read when we see the new moon. So make an effort to sight the Ramadan moon with full attention and eagerness and say this prayer on sighting the moon:

 

Allahu Akbar, Allahumma ahillahu alayna bil amni wal eemaani, wassalaamati wal-Islaami, wattawfeeqi limaa tuhibbu Rabbanaa wa tardhaa, Rabbunaa wa Rabbukallahu .

"Allah is the greatest. O Allah, let the crescent loom above us in safety, faith, peace, and Islaam, and in agreement with all that You love and pleases You. Our Lord and your Lord is Allah."

A neglected Sunnah??

It is a part of the beauty of Islam anticipating when fasting will start. When will Eid be? This builds up the excitement and love of these blessed times. And there is deepest wisdom in how Allah (The One & Only God) Subhaanahu wa Taala ordained these issues. This was the way of the Holy Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam), the Sahabah, and the Early generations, including the Four Imams.

Yet, it is sad to see many Muslims getting lost in the fast track world of machines and calculations and neglecting this act of Sunnah, thus losing out on the chance to earn reward from their Rabb for following the Holy Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) and his guidance.

SO REVIVE THE SUNNAH!

So work hard to revive the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) and dont belittle it. Practice it yourself, teach it to your children and others. Reviving aspects of the Sunnah that are being forgotten is one of the most important charitable deeds that a person can do during his lifetime and is a deed that will bring an immense reward

"Whoever revives an aspect of my Sunnah that is forgotten after my death, he will have a reward equivalent to that of the people who follow him, without it detracting in the least from their reward." (Tirmidhi)

Holy Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) also said: Pay attention to my Sunnah and the way of the Rightly-guided Khaleefahs after me, adhere to it and hold fast to it.(Saheeh Abi Dawud)

For our complete guidance, it is a must for us to learn and follow the Sunnah. If possible, let us invite others to learn and follow the same. We must know that our Creator sent His Messenger with Guidance and the Religion of Truth to make it prevail over all religions and that He promises great rewards for those who support the Truth.

"And he who brings the Truth and he who confirms (and supports) it -- such are the men who do right. They shall have all that they wish for, with their Rabb. Such is the reward of those who do good: so that Allah will remit from them (even) the worst in their deeds and give them their reward according to the best of what they havedone." (Holy Qur'an 39:33-35)

Raising children in non-Muslim societies

Raising children in an Islamic way in a non-Muslim society needs everyone's effort with no exception, starting with the parents' efforts, to the Mosque's, to the community's efforts. All of these roles are important. The stronger these roles are and the more mutually complementary to one another, the better the raising process will be.


The role of the Muslim community is important and is based on a number of factors, of which, the most important are:


1 - Supporting the Islamic center so that it keeps providing all the different services and programs and makes improvements.


Continuous financial supports to cover all the operating expenses and activities expenses. Every program has expenses, which are to be covered by the community. This community has to show support in an exemplary manner for the center; all its activities, the Islamic schools, the monthly utility bills and so on.


We give good news and glad tidings to everyone who donates to an Islamic center that their donations are considered on-going charity that has positive rewarding effects even after death as Holy Prophet Muhammad promised. Imaam Muslim reported that the Holy Prophet said: "When a man dies, his deeds come to an end except for three things, (and the first of them): Sadaqah Jaareyah (ceaseless charity)" 

Allah (The One & Only God) Says: "And whatever you spend in good, it is for yourselves, when you spend not except seeking Allah's Countenance. And whatever you spend in good, it will be repaid to you in full, and you shall not be wronged." [Quran 2:272]




2- Supporting the Islamic center requires also efforts and time invested in voluntary programs and projects that are frequently needed. This is met when you personally go there and take your children with you. This way, your children take part in the voluntary work. It is an important factor in increasing their tendency to work with a group than to work selfishly and individually.

The Holy Prophet used to participate with all his companions in voluntary projects, which are beneficial to the Muslim community.


3- Supporting the Islamic center occurs also through suggesting a good idea to establish new important projects. It also occurs through constructive criticism for existing projects and programs so that they get better. Support does not occur from those who do not show action or from those who criticize only for criticism and always reject others. These people weaken some workers who may leave the projects and subsequently these projects will be weak.


4- Supporting the Islamic center is also done by effective participation in the existing programs and activities by taking your family with you. It is a must that you make this participation a part of your daily and weekly schedule. This participation will help you keep coming and so will be beneficial for you and your family. Also, do not forget that you children need social upbringing that will not be accomplished except through the Muslim community. You can not accomplish this alone. The Holy Prophet ordered us to stay with the Jama'ah (community) and warned us from staying away from it. He  said: "Stay with the Jama'ah (community) and be cautious of divisions-" [Saheeh Al-Jaami']


5- Supporting the Islamic center is done also by making other Muslim members of the community aware of the activities and programs that the Islamic center has. Also, make sure that you take some of them with you. This way, you will be performing the Muslims due rights and so you will be rewarded without decreasing their rewards on the Day of Judgment.
What helps you participate in the center's activities and programs is your home. If you live closer to the Masjid (mosque), you will be more easily able to participate in the daily prayers for example. It is important that you also establish good relationships on the basis of Islam with other Muslim families. And to make effort to live in a neighborhood with other Muslim families, so that you can share your experiences about raising your children with them. 
We need to establish good relationships on the basis of Islam with other Muslim families. That relationship should be based only on Islam and nothing else. Also, be aware from falling into racism, nationalism that the Prophet warned us against. The racism can be exploited by the satans (devils) among people and Jinn, which will lead to the destruction of the Muslim unity.


To keep away from the racism involves a number of things:


1- To develop good relationships with Muslim families that do not belong to the same nationality or ethnic background.


2- Be aware and avoid the activities that are aimed at only specific nationality or ethnic background or race, for example Arabs with Arabs only, or Indians with Indians only, or Pakistani with Pakistani only, or the Afro-Americans with the Afro-Americans only, even if these activities are intended to build a Masjid or a center or an organization. This will destroy the unity among Muslim community. Allah (The One & Only God) Says: "And hold fast, all of you together, to the rope of Allah (Quran or Islam), and be not divided among yourselve" [Quran 3:103]

Allah, Most High, also Says: "The believers are nothing else than brothers" [Quran 49:10]


Many people who fall in the traps of nationalism are not even aware of the seriousness of this practice which destroys the relationship among Muslim children and among Muslim families. Therefore, destroys the meaning of the Islamic universal message that we need to implant in their minds and exemplify it in their reality

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"O you who believe! Seek Help in Patience and Salah. Truly, Allah is with those that are patient." [Baqarah 2/153]

Messenger of Allah (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam) say, "Any Muslim that says when a calamity befalls him that which Allah commanded him: To Allah we belong and to him we return. O Allah reward me in this calamity and give me better then it - (any Muslim that says this) Allah will grant him better than (that which he lost)." - [Muslim]

“And Allah loves As-Saabiroon (the patient)”  [Aal ‘Imraan 3:146]

PARENT'S RIGHTS OVER CHILDREN & RIGHTS OF OTHER RELATIVES

PARENT'S RIGHTS OVER CHILDREN

&

RIGHTS OF OTHER RELATIVES

by Shaikh Musa Ibrahim Menk

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The Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallamhas laid stress on the rights of parents and duties of children, in the same way as he has stressed the rights  of children and the duties of parents.

To be obedient to parents and to show kindness to them has been enjoined along with the Oneness and Worship of Allah (The One & Only God), in the Holy Quran, in such a manner that it appears that among human deeds, to obey parents and treat them with respect and kindness is next only to Divine Worship.
 
The Quran says, in Sura Bani Israail: "Your Lord (The Creator) has ordained that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to the parents."
 

Parents Are the Heaven and Hell of the Children

In a hadeeth the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has said that the parents of a person are his Heaven or Hell.
 
This shows that if a person obeys his parents and attends to their needs and comforts and keeps them happy, he will attain Paradise.  On the other hand, if he is rude and disobedient to them and offends them by ignoring their feelings or by causing them grief in any other way, his place shall be in Hell.
 
Pleasing the Parents Causes Allah's Pleasure

Anyone who seeks to please Allah (The One God) should earn the good pleasure of his parents.  To keep the parents well pleased is essential since their anger and  displeasure will lead to Allah's anger and displeasure.  The Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has said "In the good pleasure of the father lies the good pleasure of the Creator and in his displeasure, lies the displeasure of the Creator."
 
Here the mother has not been mentioned, but, according to many other ahadeeth, the right of the mother with regard to service and kind treatment  is even higher than that of the father.  Therefore, her pleasure or displeasure will carry an equal significance.
 
Curse For Not Looking After Aged Parents.

The time that the parents need to be looked after most carefully is in their old-age, and to serve them devotedly in that state is most pleasing to Allah (The One & Only God) and it is an easy way to attain Paradise.

Abu Hurairah (R.A.) relates that the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said "May he be disgraced, may, he be disgraced, may he be disgraced."  "Who?" The Sahaaba enquired.  "The person whose parents, or any one of them, attain old-age during his life-time and he does not earn Paradise (by being kind-hearted and dutiful to them)!"

Therefore, anyone who gets an opportunity to serve his parents in their old-age and does not avail himself to it (to attain Paradise), undoubtedly, he is a most wretched person.

Serving the Parents Is Preferable to Jihaad

When the parents of a person are in need of his help and attention, then it is preferable for him to serve them than to go to Jihaad.
 
A person once came to the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam and said that he wanted to participate in the Jihaad.  The Prophet asked him "Are your parents alive?" "Yes, they are alive" he replied.  The Prophet said.  "Then strive in their service and assist them at the time of their need. (This is your Jihaad.)"

Commentary: Perhaps, there was reason for the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam to believe that the parents of the person concerned were in need  for help and attention, that is why he told him to go and take care of them, because in these circumstances service to the parents was more important.
 
However, it must not be misunderstood that anyone whose parents are alive should not take part in Jihaad, and that only those whose parents have  died. should do so.  In fact, the parents of many of the Sahaba who took part in Jihaad, were living.

The Mother's Claim Is Greater

Abu Hurairah (R.A.) narrates that a person asked the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam "Who has the greatest claim on me with regard to service and kind treatment?" The Prophet replied, "Your mother, and again your mother, and once again your mother.  After her, is the claim of your father, then that of your near relations, and then of the relations next to them." This, obviously, shows that where care and kind treatment are concerned, the claim of the mother is greater than that of the father.

It appears to be the same in the Qur'an too.  In many instances, the pain and the suffering which the mother has to bear during pregnancy, at childbirth, and in the bringing-up of the children, has been mentioned along with the emphasis of expressing kindness to parents.

Paradise Lies At the Mother's Feet

In one hadeeth the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has clearly stated that a person's Paradise lies at his mother's feet.  By serving her well and being obedient to her, one can attain Paradise.

In some other ahadeeth the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has explained that serving the mother, the maternal aunt and maternal grandmother, are among the acts by whose piousness, even the repentance of a great sinner and evil-doer is accepted and he is forgiven.
  

Treatment Towards Polytheist Parents

If anyone's parents are polytheists, and they want him to follow their faith, he should refuse, but he should continue to be kind and respectful to them.

Asma bint Abu Bakr (R.A.) relates that her mother had come to Madinah, from Makkah, to meet her.  Her mother followed the Pagan customs and beliefs, so Asma (R.A.) enquired from the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam as how she was to treat her whether she should have nothing to do with her, as she was a Pagan, or treat her like a daughter should, and show kindness to her.  The Prophet told her to be kind and considerate and to behave towards her as was a mother’s due, from a daughter.

Parents' Rights After Their Death

The rights of parents do not come to an end with their death.  In fact, some of their rights take effect after their death, and it is a religious obligation for the children to fulfill them.
 
As explained before, obeying one's parents and treating them with respect and affection is great virtue - and atones for one's sins.

Similarly, to ask Allah (The One & Only God) to have mercy on them after their death, is an act which brings comfort to them in their graves and serves to atone for one's sins.
 
After the death of one's parents among other duties, should be to pray for their forgiveness and treat their relatives and friends with due respect.
 
Abu Usaid Sa'idi (R.A.) relates that a person came to the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam and asked him "O Prophet of Allah, are there some rights of my parents, on me, which I have to fulfill even after they have died?" "Yes" the Prophet replied, "These are to pray for mercy and forgiveness on their behalf, to fulfill the promises they have made to anyone, to pay due regard to the bonds of relationship from their side and to be respectful to their friends.

In the Holy Quran, Muslims have been urged to pray for the salvation of their parents as shown in the verse. And say, "Mv Lord.  Have mercy on both of them, as they cared for me when I was little."
  

Advantages of Obedience to Parents

The real reward for serving the parents, with great attention, is Paradise and the pleasure of Allah (The One God).  But the Almighty bestows a special favour, in this world too, on the believer who fulfills the parents' rights devotedly.

Jabir (R.A.) reports that the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said "Allah prolongs the life of a person who obeys his parents and serves them devotedly." In another hadeeth, the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam is reported to have said, "Obey your parents and treat them with kindness, your children will be kind and obedient to you.

Great Sin For Disobeying the Parents

Just as the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam declared, that serving ones parents well is an act of great virtue, he condemned the showing of disobedience to them, or harming them, as a most serious and detestable sin.

When asked about the major sins, the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam replied." To associate anyone with Allah, to disobey the parents, to kill unlawfully and to give false evidence."

The above-mentioned acts have been condemned as 'Akbarul-Kabaair' ie the most serious of the major sins.  The order in which the Prophet said them, shows that the disregard of parents rights is next, only, to Polytheism (Shirk) and it is even more serious than murder.

The Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has said "To abuse one's parents is also a major sin." He was asked "Can anyone abuse his parents?" "Yes," the Prophet replied, "If a person abused someone else's parents and that person, in retaliation, abused his parents, - then it is as though he himself had abused his parents."

We can imagine, from this, what an important place respect for parents occupies in the moral and social teachings of Islam, and how careful one should be about it.

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RIGHTS OF OTHER RELATIVES

Besides parents' rights, a great emphasis is also laid on the rights of other relatives.  In Islamic terms, 'Silah-Rahimi' is used to denote 'good treatment towards the relatives'.

In the Holy Quran, where the Muslims are enjoined to show kindness to parents, they are also required to treat the other relatives with love and sympathy and to pay due regard to their rights as well.

As we have seen in a previous hadeeth, the foremost claim on a person is that of his mother, then of his father, and then grade by grade, of the other relatives.  Therefore through relationship, the relatives' rights come after that of the parents.

Allah (The One & Only God) has declared, "I am Allah, I am Ar-Rahman (The Merciful), I have created the bond of kinship and named it Rahim,-which I have derived from the root of my name of Rahman.  Thus, whoever, shall join it (ie. Rahim), I shall join him, and whoever will break it, I shall break him."

The Almighty has designed the system of birth in such a way, that whoever is born, is tied to the bonds of kinship-and these bonds carry certain claims and rights.  Thus, whoever fufills these claims, by being kind to his relatives and treating them well, Allah will "join him" i.e. He will make him  His own and bestow His favour and mercy on him.  And whosoever will violate these claims, Allah will "break him" i.e. He will have nothing to do with him.

Fulfilling the Rights of Relatives

It is related by Anas (R.A.) that the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said "Whoever wants an increase in his sustenance and that the marks of his feet remain for a long time in the world (i.e. to live long) - he should be kind and helpful to his relatives."

Basically, there are two ways of being kind and considerate to relatives.   One is by giving them monetary assistance, when needed, and the other is by devoting a part of one's time and energy at their service.

Family quarrels, which generally arise from the disregard of the relatives' rights, affect a man's health and make it difficult for him to concentrate in his work.  Those who treat their relatives well and are helpful to them, are free from tensions of this kind and they are happier and more peaceful.

Violation of Relatives' Rights

The Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has said "Whoever violates the rights of relatives, shall not go to Paradise."

Commentary:- This hadeeth, alone, should be enough to make us realise the importance of 'Silah-Rahimi' .  It shows that the violation of the relatives' rights is so detested by Allah (The One God), that with its filthiness, no one can enter Paradise.  It is only when a person (believer) has received his punishment or has been forgiven, that the gates of Paradise will be opened for him.

Showing Kindness to Those Who Severe Relations

Often, there are people who care little for the bonds of relationship and are rude and unjust in this respect. Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has enjoined to continue to treat them well and fufil the obligations, irrespective of what they do and how they behave.

Abdullah ibn Umar(R.A.) relates from the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.), "He does not fulfill the claim of Silah-Rahimi who shows no kindness in return for the kindness shown to him.. The person who really fulfills the claim is he who treats his relatives well even when they are mean and unjust to him.

When the violation of the rights of relatives is returned in a similar manner, the evil will spread in the society -- while if it is returned

with kindness, it may lead to their correction and it will assist in the promotion of Silah-Rahimi, in the life of the community.