FREE MIXING IN ISLAM

FREE MIXING IN ISLAM

What is permissible and what is not ?

What is considered free mixing ?

- Men and women are permitted to be in the same place. (i.e. shops, streets etc)

- Men and women should avoid situations where they are crowded together or seated together.

- Repetitive acquaintance should be avoided to prevent familiarity.

- Business like discussion between man and woman is permissible when necessary.

Why is it like this ?

- Prevention of intimate relationships developing outside of marriage.

- Prevention of gossip and slander that can destroy relationships and families.

- Prevention of one party "falling in love" and being hurt.

- Prevention of children being born outside of marriage.

- Prevention of families being broken up.

The Evidence

Allah (The One & Only God) says: "Nor come nigh to adultery".

Allah (The One God) says: "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them." and says: "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty." [Noble Quran 24:30-31]

Allah (The One God) says: "And when you ask the ladies for anything, ask them from behind a screen. That makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs." [Noble Quran 33:53]

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) forbade men and women from being alone together. He said: "Never is a man alone with a woman except that Satan (Devil) is the third party with them."

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: "Do not enter into the company of women."

A man then asked him: "What about her male in-laws?"

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: "The in-law is the most dangerous".

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: "It is better for one of you to be pierced by a steel pin in his head than to touch the hand of a strange woman."

Allah (The One & Only God) says: "Be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak with a speech (that is) proper." [Noble Quran 33:32].

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Any woman who puts on perfume then goes and passes by some men to let them find her scent is a type of adulteress." [Musnad Ahmad, Tirmidhi]

Umm Salamah said: "When the Prophet (peace be upon him) completed the prayer, the women would get up to leave. He would then wait awhile before standing." Ibn Shahab said: "I believe that he waited for a while to give the women an opportunity to depart before the men." [Sahih al-Bukhari]

It was related in al-Bukhari that women at the time of the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) did not circumambulate the Kabah along with the men. Aishah used to go around the Kabah at a good distance from the men and avoided mixing with them. Once another woman bade to her to go forward with her so they could touch the corner of the Kabah. Aishah refused to do so. [Sahih al-Bukhari]

One of Ayshahs handmaidens came to her and said: "O Mother of believers, I went around the Kabah seven times and touched the corner twice or trice". Ayshah replied: "May Allah not reward you for pushing your way through men. It would have been sufficient for you to you to say "Allah Akbar" as you passed by". [Musnad al-Shafii]

Punishment for Zina

In this life

Fornication is 100 lashes
"The male and female who commit fornication -flog each of them with one hundred lashes, and let not compassion for the two of them keep you from complying with Allahs religion, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a group of believers witness their punishment." [Noble Quran 24:2]

Adultery is death

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "It is not permitted to shed the blood of any Muslim .... Except in three cases: a soul for a soul, the married person who commits adultery, and the one who forsakes his religion..." [Bukhari and Muslim]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When someone commits Zina or drinks wine, Allah (The One God) removes his faith from him, just as a person takes his shirt off over his head"

In the Hereafter

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will not speak to nor look at nor purify three types of people: an old man who commits Zina, a lying king and a vainglorious poor person...."

The Holy Prophet said: "We went on and arrived near a pit which was like and oven, out of which we could hear cries. We glanced into it and naked men and women, who cried out when the flames reached them from below. I asked: Who are these, O Gabriel? He replied, Males and females who have committed fornication. " [Bukhari]

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If someone commits Zina with a married women, in the grave there will be a punishment on him and on her equal to half the punishment of this Ummah...."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The man who has laid his hand with lust on a woman who is not permissible to him will come on the Day of Judgment with his hand tied to his neck.

If he kissed her, his lips will be cut in the Fire, and if he had sexual intercourse with her, his private parts will speak against him in the Day of Judgment saying: I did what was forbidden.

Allah (The One & Only God) Most High will look at him with anger, and the flesh on his face will sag and he will look haggard and old. He will say: What did I do? His tongue will witness against him saying, I said what was forbidden; his hands will speak and say, We reached for what was forbidden; each of his feet will say. I went to a forbidden place.; and his private parts will say, I did it.

An one of the guardian angels will say, I heard it. and the other guardian angel will say, I wrote it, and Allah Most High will say, I knew it but I concealed it. Then He will say My angels, take him and give him a taste of My punishment. Great is My anger against the man who had so little shame towards Me!"

Khadejah Jones
ShareIslam.com 

The Four Factors: Check yourself for signs of hypocrisy

The Four Factors: Check yourself for signs of hypocrisy

Just as our body gives us signals when we tax it too much physically or mentally, with migraine headaches, aching bones, low immunity to seasonal viruses, and muscular strains symbolizing the need for us to slow down, relax and give ourselves some stress-free time to unwind. 

So too, our actions and dealings with people give us some tell-tale signs about the state of our spiritual well-being and health.
A healthy soul is serene when it is at the peak of faith. Imagine how it felt after spending a part of the night of "Al-Qadr" in prayer during Ramadan, or after consciously forgiving someone who had wronged you, or after sincerely repenting of and giving up a sin. 

Such moments became turning points in your life that made you feel as if you were freed from shackles when you rushed back to Allah (The One & Only God). During such times, the heart is spiritually charged, healthy, and resonating with faith. On the flip side are some warning signs in our actions that we should watch out for, because they indicate that we are gravitating towards the worst disease of the heart: Nifaq or hypocrisy. Just as a bodily disease requires immediate prescription of an appropriate remedy for timely cure, a disease of the heart also necessitates immediate diagnosis of symptoms and prescription of a remedy.

Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "There are four (characteristics), whoever has all of them is a complete hypocrite, and whoever has some of them, has some element of hypocrisy, unless he gives it up: When he speaks, he lies; when he makes a covenant, he betrays it; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; when he quarrels, he resorts to insults." (Sahih Muslim, no. 53)

The Munafiq or hypocrite is someone who possesses all of the above traits. He makes an outward show of piety, but is inwardly different from his deliberately put-on, outer facade. There are varying degrees of Nifaq, but the important thing to remember is that it is the opposite of Ikhlas - sincerity of intention towards Allah (The One God) and His Deen, Islam. If anyone wants to know how sincere his heart is towards Allah (The One God), he should analyze his behavior and actions honestly and if he detects any of these four traits:

Lying 
Lying is a major sin that the companions of the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) would stay far away from. We, however, lie regularly to save face before people. If we cannot visit someone just because we do not feel like going, we lie that we have to go somewhere else. We fear people and value their opinion about us more than we fear 
Allah, His wrath, and our standing before Him. We are weak in faith and hence, we lie. Remember that each time you lie, you move further down the levels of faith, further away from Allah (The One God) and righteousness, until you repent. 

Betraying trusts 
The agreements and contracts we sign with organizations, institutions, authorities or countries are covenants or trusts. We must obey the laws and rules of these contracts and not intentionally defy them. Anything belonging to someone else is also a trust that we must take care of.

If you find yourself betraying other people's trusts, such as secretly disobeying office or school rules, deceiving your spouse (with whom you have the Nikah contract), borrowing and misusing other's belongings, or forging marriage documents for immigration to another country, you should remind yourself that treachery or treason is the trait of a hypocrite. 

Breaking promises 
The tongue of a believer is cautious and on guard. A kind of carelessness of the tongue is to say to others that you will do something, only to make them pleased with you, and then not actually do it. For example, a husband might say to his wife, "I will buy you shoes next month," or a woman might say to her friend, "I will not tell anyone your secret" - and then not keep up the word. Breaking promises leaves the other person feeling disappointed and betrayed.

A believer never makes a promise he does not intend to fulfill, and always fulfills a promise once he makes it. Making a promise and then breaking it, is a sign of hypocrisy. A sincere believer always takes his word seriously; once he says he will do something, he considers it a binding oath that remains on his mind until he duly discharges it.

Insulting another person during a dispute 
Disputes, disagreements and quarrels are bound to crop up in human relationships, especially with people to whom we are close. One only fights with those whom he meets regularly, or has some business with, or is biologically related to. Consequently, fights erupt most often between siblings, spouses, neighbors, parents and children, employers and subordinates, colleagues, buyers and sellers, and close friends.

How do you behave when you get angry during a quarrel? Do you start shouting, screaming, hurling profanities and dishing out insults? Do you abuse the other person verbally or physically? If you do, you should try to control and rectify this behavior. A sincere believer leaves the scene of the quarrel or maintains his composed demeanor even when furious.

As Muslims, we must constantly check ourselves to see whether our hearts have Nifaq or not. Ponder this wise saying of Hasan Al-Basri: "It is only a believer who fears hypocrisy (for himself), and it is only a hypocrite who feels safe from it." (Al-Bukhari, Kitab-ul-Iman, ch. 36). The most effective means of ridding one's heart of the disease of Nifaq is to adhere to the Holy Qur'an by studying it, memorizing it, and acting upon it; fulfilling all the obligations of Islam, abstaining from its prohibitions, and constantly engaging in remembrance of Allah (The One & Only God)

.

May Almighty ALLAH  (The One & Only God) guide all of us to the Right Path and give all of us the courage to accept the Truth in the light of Holy Qur'an and Sunnah and to reject all things which are in contradiction to the Holy Qur'an and Sunnah, Aameen.

How to Boost Ramadan Spirit

How to Boost Ramadan Spirit

Ramadan, the month of the Holy Qur’an, represents an invaluable opportunity for all believers to recharge the batteries of faith and draw close to their Lord. A wise Muslim should be keen to make best use of these blessed moments. If Muslims are unable to un-distractedly focus on the hereafter all the time, let them at least do so during this short, yet boundlessly blessed, period of time. Below are some tips on how to boost your spirit during this longed-for month: 

1- Du`a’ (Supplication)

Ask Almighty Allah (The One & Only God) to make this the most inspiring, spiritually uplifting Ramadan you have ever had. Allah is the Only Who can make this happen and complete reliance on Him completely is the major step in boosting our spirits. 

2- Clear Your Mind 

Turn off the TV, the computer, the radio, your cell phone, pager, iPod, etc. You need not do so all day long, but for at least 10 minutes a day. Find a quiet place where you can close your eyes, remember your Lord and think deeply about your relationship with Him. At first, your mind will swirl with the useless and not-so-useful thoughts in your head. Force them away and focus your thought during these few minutes on three things: Almighty Allah (The One & Only God), your purpose in life, and whether you are making due efforts to achieve that purpose. Do this every day of Ramadan, if you can. Should this be not possible, do it at least three times a week. 

3- Learn About Great Muslim Figures

Even if you have read it or listened to it before, again read or listen to `Abdul-Wahid Hamid's Companions of the Holy Prophet during this Ramadan. Read about or listen daily to a Companion's story. Well-written and short, these stories inform us in a wonderful way about these noble personalities and about how they maintained the strength of their faith against incredible odds. What a sure-fire spirituality booster! 

4- Connect to the Holy Qur’an 

The noble Qur’an is the means whereby Almighty Allah (The One God) talks to us. Indeed, it is the most important key to spiritual upliftment & enlightenment. During this Ramadan, connect to the Holy Qur’an in a new way. If you already recite the Qur’an regularly, you can choose a new theme to focus on or select a particular Surah you have not read for a while. If, however, you are not a frequent reader of the Holy Qur’an, you can start by reciting it for only two minutes a day; recite from the first page you encounter when you open the mushaf (copy of the Qur’an). It is also recommended that you keep a Qur’anic journal in which you can record your reflections, questions, thoughts, etc., about what you recite. 

5- Take Care of Others 

Whether it is a person who is away from his family, a person who is having problems with his or her spouse or kids, or fellow students struggling with their grades, make an extra effort this Ramadan to help others out. The spiritual boost you get in return is well worth it. 

6- Feed the Hungry 

While your stomach shrieks in protest, give that panhandler some change, volunteer at a soup kitchen, get involved with your local food pantry or make a couple of bag lunches to give to the hungry you meet on your way to school or work. 

7- Give Up One Lifelong Bad Habit

Ask yourself what your fundamental defining traits are. Then decide which is the worst of them. Is it a hot temper? Apathy? Laziness? Impatience? Whatever it may be, utilize this Ramadan to get rid of it. Practice the opposite of this bad habit of yours every day until the end of the month. By then, in sha’ Allah (God Willing), you will look back and be amazed at the change you have made for the better. 

8- Use Those Special Last Ten Nights 

The last ten nights or Ramadan are not called the Nights of Power for nothing. Use these precious times for deep, heartfelt du`aa’ (supplication), self-analysis, reflection and serious thought.

WHY DO WE FAST????

WHY DO WE FAST????

Praise be to Allah (The One & Only God).

Firstly we must note that one of the names of Allah is al-Hakeem (the Most Wise). The word Hakeem is derived from the same root as hukm (ruling) and hikmah (wisdom). Allah alone is the One Who issues rulings, and His rulings are the most wise and perfect.

Secondly:Allah (The One God) does not prescribe any ruling but there is great wisdom behind it, which we may understand, or our minds may not be guided to understand it. We may know some of it but a great deal is hidden from us.

Thirdly:Allah (The One God) has mentioned the reason and wisdom behind His enjoining of fasting upon us, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe! Observing As-Sawm (the fasting) is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)” [al-Baqarah 2:183]

Fasting is a means of attaining taqwa (piety, being conscious of Allah), and taqwa means doing that which Allah (The One & Only God) has enjoined and avoiding that which He has forbidden.

Fasting is one of the greatest means of helping a person to fulfill the commands of Islam.

The scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) have mentioned some of the reasons why fasting is prescribed, all of which are characteristics of taqwa, but there is nothing wrong with quoting them here, to draw the attention of fasting people to them and make them keen to attain them.

Among the reasons behind fasting are:

1 – Fasting is a means that makes us appreciate and give thanks for pleasures. For fasting means giving up eating, drinking and intercourse, which are among the greatest pleasures. By giving them up for a short time, we begin to appreciate their value. Because the blessings of Allah (The One God) are not recognized, but when you abstain from them, you begin to recognize them, so this motivates you to be grateful for them.

2 – Fasting is a means of giving up haraam (forbidden) things, because if a person can give up halaal (allowed) things in order to please Allah (The One God) and for fear of His painful torment, then he will be more likely to refrain from haraam things. So fasting is a means of avoiding the things that Allah (The One & Only God) has forbidden.

3 – Fasting enables us to control our desires, because when a person is full his desires grow, but if he is hungry then his desire becomes weak. Hence the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “O young men! Whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and protecting one’s chastity. Whoever cannot do that, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.”

4 – Fasting makes us feel compassion and empathy towards the poor, because when the fasting person tastes the pain of hunger for a while, he remembers those who are in this situation all the time, so he will hasten to do acts of kindness to them and show compassion towards them. So fasting is a means of feeling empathy with the poor.

5 – Fasting humiliates and weakens the Shaytaan (Devil); it weakens the effects of his whispers (waswaas) on a person and reduces his sins. That is because the Shaytaan (Devil) “flows through the son of Adam like blood” as the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, but fasting narrows the passages through which the Shaytaan (Devil) flows, so his influence grows less.

Shaykh al-Islam said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 25/246

Undoubtedly blood is created from food and drink, so when a person eats and drinks, the passages through which the devils flow – which is the blood – become wide. But if a person fasts, the passages through which the devils flow become narrow, so hearts are motivated to do good deeds, and to give up evil deeds.

6 – The fasting person is training himself to remember that Allah (The One & Only God) is always watching, so he gives up the things that he desires even though he is able to take them, because he knows that Allah can see him.

7 – Fasting means developing an attitude of asceticism towards this world and it’s desires, and seeking that which is with Allah (The One God).

8 – It makes the Muslim get used to doing a great deal of acts of worship, because the fasting person usually does more acts of worship and gets used to that.

These are some of the reasons why fasting is enjoined. We ask Allah (The One God) to help us to achieve them and to worship Him properly.

And Allah (The One & Only God) knows best.

See Tafseer al-Sa’di, p. 116; Ibn al-Qayyim’s footnotes on al-Rawd al-Murabba’, 3/344; al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 28/9

Excellent Example of Hijab / Display of body

Excellent Example of Hijab

Please percolate to your Musim & Non-Muslim Contacts 

Ask yourself, or ask the next person who asks you that question, if a female judge walked into the courtroom wearing a tight miniskirt and low-cut blouse, would you take her seriously? Who would you respect more, a woman dressed like that or one dressed modestly? The Holy Qur’an was revealed for all times, and though circumstances change, human nature does not. The fact is that men do like to look at women’s bodies, so a woman who covers herself is more likely to be respected as a person than looked upon as a piece of meat!


Muslim women wear hijab—which is more than just a head cover—because God ordered them to do so in two places in the Holy Qur’an, and because Holy Prophet Muhammad also ordered it. The Holy Quran says in Chapter 24, verses 30 - 31 what means: 


“And O Prophet, enjoin the Believing men to restrain their gazeand guard their private parts. This is a more righteous way for them: Allah has knowledge of what they do. O Prophet, enjoin the Believing men to restrain their gaze and guard their private parts and not to display their adornment except that which is displayed of itself, and to draw their veils over their bosoms and not to display their adornment except before their husbands, their fathers, the fathers of their husbands, their sons and the sons of their husbands (from other wives), their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their female associates and those in their possession and male attendants incapable of sex desire and those boys who have not yet attained knowledge of sex matters concerning women; also forbid them to stamp their feet on the ground lest their hidden ornaments should be displayed. O Believers, turn all together towards Allah: it is expected that you will attain true success”.


These verses tell us that Islamic dress is not just a matter of covering the head alone, but also of covering the bosom, which is attractive to men, and of lowering the gaze and walking in a way that does not attract attention. Note that the order to lower the gaze was addressed first to men. You can also read the other verse about the same point, which is verse number 59 in Surah 33. 


Up until the end of the nineteenth century, a Western woman who had any self respect covered her head—though perhaps not all her hair—in public. That may be true, but women still know that men look at them. Otherwise, why would they spend millions of dollars every year to style, color, and treat their hair?


                         Is hijab an oppression? 

Dr. Fatima Naseef, author of Women in Islam, sees hijab as a woman’s right to maintain her modesty and to be respected as a person. Please turn the question around to the asker: if one woman has the right to go half naked in public, why doesn’t another woman have the right to cover herself in public? Why is it looked upon as oppression if she chooses to be modest? 

Woman and the display of body

Describing women who are morally decayed. The Holy Prophet Muhammad said that they are "women dressed but naked, corrupt and corrupters, their hairs are like the inclined hump of female camel, they do not enter the Heaven nor smell its fragrance" [Refer to Abu Daud]

The Holy Prophet also said "the prayer of a mistreating woman is not acceptable until she purifies herself" [Refer to Imam Ahmed, Abu Daud & Ibn Maja].

The modern scientific researches confirmed that the nakedness of women, their body displaying & their moving in an obscene shape is a disaster on them. The current statistics showed that there is a clear spread of the malignant cancer which affects the naked and displayed part of the women bodies particularly those women who dress short clothes.

It was published in the British Medical Magazine that "the melanoma malignant cancer which was one of the most rare cancers is now spreading among women. The cases of this type of cancer is increasing among young women. It affects their legs. The medical publication went on saying that the main cause behind the spread of short dress & fashions which expose the body of women to the rays & light of the sun. Moreover, the transparent dress and legs gloves do not help in avoiding this type of cancer.

The Medical Magazine appealed to the environment doctors to participate in collecting information about this type of cancer, because it is becoming an epidemic phenomenon. This reminds us with the Quranic sign which says in the tongue of the obstinate unbeliever

"O God, if this is indeed The Truth from Thee, Rain down on us a shower of stones from the sky, or send us a grievous penalty" [8:32]

Now to torture has come down in the form of a malignant cancer. It is caused by the exposition of women's body to the sunrays and ultraviolet rays for a long time it affects the whole body but with different proportion. Initially, it appears as a dark; small spot on either the foot or the leg, and some times in the eye. Then it spreads all over the body. It attacks the lymph knots at the upper part of the thigh. It also attacks blood and invades the liver & destroys it. It may settle in all the organs of the body such as bones, the belly & perhaps the kidneys. If it attacks the kidneys then the patient will experience black urine as a result of inner destruction of the kidneys. It may get transferred to the child in the womb of his mother.

However, this disease does not allows its patient to survive for a long time & it does not respond to surgical treatment like other types of cancers nor it responds to treatment by rays sessions like some other types of cancers.

Therefore have we realized the wisdom behind Islamic legislation which aimed to protect women not only from passers-by but also from a skin disease called cancer. The subject Islamic legislation called upon women to corner their bodies properly & with loose and not narrow and not transparent clothes.

Therefore, Islamic uniform for women protect them from physical diseases, from teasing in the streets & from the torture of life on the Judgment day.

Source: "Scientific Miracles in Islam & Sunna Nabaweya" .

Muslim Woman and Her Daughter-in-Law / Establishing Islamic Home

The IDEAL MUSLIMAH
The True Islamic Personality of the Muslim Woman 
as Defined in the Qur'an and Sunnah

By  Dr. Muhammad 'Ali Al-Hashimi  
Translated by Nasiruddin Al-Khattab and Revised by Ibrahim
M. Kunna and Abu Aya Sulaiman Abdus-Sabur  

Copyright and published by the International Islamic Publishing House (IIPH), Riyadh, Saudi Arabia in 1999.  

The Ideal Muslimah: the true Islamic personality of the Muslim woman as defined in the Qur'an and Sunnah

The Ideal Muslimah  is proud of the great position that Islam has given her among humanity. She performs her duties knowing that her role is clearly defined and that her rights are still, even today, greater than any other ideology has provided. She is a woman of moral excellence, true to her nature, not confused by alien and morally bankrupt ideas. She preserves her self-respect and dignity through her piety in obedience to Allah (The One & Only God)) and His Messenger (Sall'Allahu alaihi wa sallam). She is the role model that every true believer hopes to emulate.

Chapter 6: The Muslim Woman and Her Sons and Daughters-in-Law

A- Her daughter-in-law and Her attitude towards her daughter-in-law

She respects her and treats her well

The good Muslim mother-in-law respects her daughter-in-law and treats her well; she makes her feel that she is loved and appreciated; she listens to her thoughts and opinions, approving and encouraging those that are good, and gently correcting those that are mistaken. In all of this, the mother-in-law's aim is to be fair and just, so she judges her daughter-in-law exactly as she would judge her daughter if she were in her place giving her opinion to her mother, in accordance with the words of the Qur'an:

"O you who believe! Fear Allah, and [always] say a word directed to the Right." (Holy Qur'an 33:70)

She does not omit to express the joy that she feels from time to time, when she sees that her son is happy with his wife, and this adds to the best feelings that her son and daughter-in-law feel. Similarly, she does not forget to include her daughter-in-law on various occasions, just as she thinks of her daughters, so she lets her accompany them, and makes her feel that she is one of them, and that she is a beloved member of the family since she is married to her beloved son.

In this way the mother-in-law becomes dear to her daughter-in-law, because she shows that her daughter-in-law is dear to her. This is in direct contrast to the practice in those backward, jahili (ignorant) societies that have deviated from the guidance of Allah (The One & Only God), where hatred and despicable plots between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law are the norm, to such an extent that this enmity has become a traditional, inevitable phenomenon, about which there are many folk sayings and popular songs. None of this could have happened if both mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law had really respected one another's rights as outlined by Islam, and had stayed within the limits prescribed by Allah (The One & Only God). This is why the traditional enmity between the mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law disappeared in those societies that truly embraced Islam and adhered to its teachings and values.

She gives advice but does not interfere in their private life

From the moment her daughter-in-law is brought as a bride to her son, the wise Muslim woman remembers that her daughter-in-law has the right to live her married life in all aspects - so long as it remains within the limits of Islamic teaching - and that no-one has the right to interfere in the private life of the spouses except in cases where it is essential to do so, as every Muslim is required to give sincere advice in accordance with the Prophet's words: "Religion is sincere advice (nasihah) ..." ²

The Muslim mother-in-law's standard in her behavior towards her daughter-in-law is her behavior towards her own daughter: just as she wants her daughter to have a happy, successful and independent marriage, undisturbed by any interference in her private life, so she wishes the same for her daughter-in-law, with no exceptions.

2. Sahih Muslim, 2/37, Kitab al-iman, bab bayan an al-din al-nasihah.