Muslim Woman and Her Daughter-in-Law / Establishing Islamic Home

The IDEAL MUSLIMAH
The True Islamic Personality of the Muslim Woman 
as Defined in the Qur'an and Sunnah

By  Dr. Muhammad 'Ali Al-Hashimi  
Translated by Nasiruddin Al-Khattab and Revised by Ibrahim
M. Kunna and Abu Aya Sulaiman Abdus-Sabur  

Copyright and published by the International Islamic Publishing House (IIPH), Riyadh, Saudi Arabia in 1999.  

The Ideal Muslimah: the true Islamic personality of the Muslim woman as defined in the Qur'an and Sunnah

The Ideal Muslimah  is proud of the great position that Islam has given her among humanity. She performs her duties knowing that her role is clearly defined and that her rights are still, even today, greater than any other ideology has provided. She is a woman of moral excellence, true to her nature, not confused by alien and morally bankrupt ideas. She preserves her self-respect and dignity through her piety in obedience to Allah (The One & Only God)) and His Messenger (Sall'Allahu alaihi wa sallam). She is the role model that every true believer hopes to emulate.

Chapter 6: The Muslim Woman and Her Sons and Daughters-in-Law

A- Her daughter-in-law and Her attitude towards her daughter-in-law

She respects her and treats her well

The good Muslim mother-in-law respects her daughter-in-law and treats her well; she makes her feel that she is loved and appreciated; she listens to her thoughts and opinions, approving and encouraging those that are good, and gently correcting those that are mistaken. In all of this, the mother-in-law's aim is to be fair and just, so she judges her daughter-in-law exactly as she would judge her daughter if she were in her place giving her opinion to her mother, in accordance with the words of the Qur'an:

"O you who believe! Fear Allah, and [always] say a word directed to the Right." (Holy Qur'an 33:70)

She does not omit to express the joy that she feels from time to time, when she sees that her son is happy with his wife, and this adds to the best feelings that her son and daughter-in-law feel. Similarly, she does not forget to include her daughter-in-law on various occasions, just as she thinks of her daughters, so she lets her accompany them, and makes her feel that she is one of them, and that she is a beloved member of the family since she is married to her beloved son.

In this way the mother-in-law becomes dear to her daughter-in-law, because she shows that her daughter-in-law is dear to her. This is in direct contrast to the practice in those backward, jahili (ignorant) societies that have deviated from the guidance of Allah (The One & Only God), where hatred and despicable plots between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law are the norm, to such an extent that this enmity has become a traditional, inevitable phenomenon, about which there are many folk sayings and popular songs. None of this could have happened if both mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law had really respected one another's rights as outlined by Islam, and had stayed within the limits prescribed by Allah (The One & Only God). This is why the traditional enmity between the mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law disappeared in those societies that truly embraced Islam and adhered to its teachings and values.

She gives advice but does not interfere in their private life

From the moment her daughter-in-law is brought as a bride to her son, the wise Muslim woman remembers that her daughter-in-law has the right to live her married life in all aspects - so long as it remains within the limits of Islamic teaching - and that no-one has the right to interfere in the private life of the spouses except in cases where it is essential to do so, as every Muslim is required to give sincere advice in accordance with the Prophet's words: "Religion is sincere advice (nasihah) ..." ²

The Muslim mother-in-law's standard in her behavior towards her daughter-in-law is her behavior towards her own daughter: just as she wants her daughter to have a happy, successful and independent marriage, undisturbed by any interference in her private life, so she wishes the same for her daughter-in-law, with no exceptions.

2. Sahih Muslim, 2/37, Kitab al-iman, bab bayan an al-din al-nasihah.