Sanctity of Marriage
It is Allah (The One & Only God) Who has created you out of one living entity, and out of it brought into being its mate, so that man might incline [with love] towards woman. And so, when he has embraced her, she conceives [what at first is] a light load , and continues to bear it. Then, when she grows heavy [with child], they both call unto God, their Sustainer, "If Thou indeed grant us a sound [child], we shall most certainly be among the grateful." [Holy Qur'an 7:189]
The building block of society is the family and there is no real family without the union of marriage. Marriage is both, a social institution and a sacred union;
- as a social institution it is considered as one of the primary prophetic practices that need to be followed. The Holy Prophet said, "Marriage is of my lifestyle and whosoever does not desire this is not of me"
- as a scared union, Allah (The One God) refers to the commitment to the institution of marriage as a solemn contract, a term otherwise used only in relation to the covenant between Allah and the Prophets [Q 33:7]
This institution of marriage is seriously challenged today...
1. Socially: Due to the economic crisis, there has been a tremendous stress on relationships, more particularly domestic relationships and more specifically marital relationships
2. Politically: A vote that would have a tremendous legal impact and great social consequence on how marriage is defined and how it will be accepted and instituted in our society.
Proposition 8
In 2000, Californians voted for Proposition 22 by a 61% majority to approve the following: "Only marriage between man and woman are valid and recognized in California."
There is a massive attempt to redefine marriage to include marriage as a one that includes a union between male & male or female & female and in the process not only legitimize homosexual relations but also consider such marriage as the norm and acceptable... enforceable by law. This will ensure that in schools, same-gender marriages will be taught to kids as being the norm, and in churches and mosques; same-gender marriages will be imposed as a equally valid and any institution that refuses to recognize this would be violating the law.
People have their rights and people should be respected for the choices they make. They are answerable to the Creator for their own lives, as each of us are. Same-gender relations, as domestic partners, already have rights, protection and benefits like married couples in California; the problem here is the deliberate attempt to redefine marriage. The objection is to the enforcing of such a deviant definition of marriage, imposing that minority privilege upon the larger community, which in turn would affect the very fabric of society.
Legality & Morality
Legally, people have had their political voices overturned by four judges in May 2008, reversing the expression of the will of the people expressed in Proposition 22 in 2000. The role of the state legislature is to interpret and implement the law, not to overturn the legitimate, moral will of the people. Now, with voting "Yes" on Proposition 8, people will reiterate their original intent, expressed in 2000, to categorically state that "Only marriage between man and woman are valid and recognized in California." This is not an issue of civil rights nor an issue of tolerance. Sometimes we try to be so politically correct that we misconstrue tolerance with condoning. Tolerance never implies abandoning one's standards and principles for that which is immoral.
Restricting "Marriage"
Marriage is a responsibility and a legally-binding contract intended
to promote a lawful, legal and moral building block of society. Numerous laws exist that restrict the ability of people to enter into a marriage contract... marriage is only allowed between adults, not minors; marriage is only allowed between two individuals not three, marriage is not allowed between closely related individuals such as brothers and sisters, or aunts and uncles or with parents. If marriage is declared a fundamental right of all individuals, then all restrictions to marriage could be declared unconstitutional.
Freedom
Much is made of the notion of impinging on the freedom of people. The concept of freedom is the distinguishing quality of humanity. Freedom refers to a state of being in which an individual is able to make a choice in thought, behavior or speech, or to avoid doing so; without violating the legitimate rights of others.
In the Holy Qur'an the concept of freedom is described with many words and expressions, such as hurr (free) or tahrir (to free); najat (protection, salvation); fawz (reaching the target, achieving the goal); and falah (total well-being, flowering of the potential, fulfillment of the latent qualities). In Hadith (Prophetic) literature there is reference to `itq (emancipation and liberation).
Freedom has both positive and negative connotations: freedom for something and freedom from something.
- Islam wants freedom for living a happy, healthy, prosperous, moral, and dignified life. Islam wants people to be free to worship, to express themselves, to earn, to have family, and to have a government of their choice.
- On the other hand, Islam wants people to be free from economic, political, and social oppression.
Three Aspects to Human Freedom in Islamic
Freedoms do not exist in a vacuum; they do not function without limits. The issue of human freedom in Islam has three aspects...
- First, is the notion that humans are born free from original sin. Adam and Eve were forgiven for their error by God, although their human descendents would have to live on earth, which would serve as a test to their faith. [Holy Qur'an 2:36-38].
- Second, given this test, humans are free to choose their actions; God has created humans such that they have an innate ability to know the difference between good and evil, and in doing so, have the freedom to choose good.
"Consider the human self, it is formed in accordance with what it is meant to be, and how it is imbued with moral failings as well as with consciousness of God! To a happy state shall indeed attain he who causes his (self) to grow in purity, and truly lost is he who corrupts it." [Holy Qur'an 91:7-10]. It is only by having this freedom that choosing to obey God becomes a meaningful process.[Qur'an 18:29].
- Third, to be able to choose one's actions then implies that one has to deal with the consequences of them as well. Humans are accountable to God on the Day of Judgment.
"And every human being`s doings have We tied to his neck, and on the Day of Resurrection We shall bring forth for him a record which he will find wide open."[Holy Qur'an 17:13].
Marriage
In Islam there is no family without union or marriage and there is no marriage without love and respect. The family in Islam is a unit in which two independent persons unite and share life together. The husband's dignity is an integral part of his wife's dignity. To unite and share, there must be mutual love and compassion - a genuine feeling which, unless translated into action and behavior, would be mere illusion.
Live by Higher Principles
To meet the needs and face the challenges that come with relationships, each person needs to make an inventory of characteristics that will help him/her to get closer to the people he/she cares about, while minimizing those matters that cause dissension. A good model for marital relationship is structured around five higher principals:
- Love (each other & for each other)
- Respect ~ Witnessing disrespect is always an unpleasant experience and when the disrespect or insult emanates from those who supposedly love us it is most demeaning, cruel and painful. Whether it be parent, child, spouse or friend; all relationships require this element of respect. Wise ones have said that a person removes the greatest ornament of relationship who takes away from it respect. How ugly it is when people abandon basic notions of respect, take their relationships for granted, and treat familiarity as some sort of dispensation from the fundamental rules of civility. People who humiliate their dear ones allow familiarity to breed contempt.
- Understanding (needs, care, attention)
- Acceptance (differences, limitations)
- Appreciation who they are and what they do
The purposes of Muslim marriage as a fulfillment of the sunnah (prophetic methodology) are to:
1. give expression to one's natural passion in a lawful context
2. restrain improper desire.
3. the expansion of the family through lawful procreation
4. ordering of domestic life which is the building block of society
5. care and responsibility towards spouse & children.
Among Allah's (The One God's) wonders is that; He created for you mates out of your own human species, so that you may incline toward them, and He engenders love and tenderness between you; in this, behold, there are indeed messages for people who think [Holy Quran 30:21].
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